Hi friends. Meet @pet_dress_ she is a singer, songwriter, thrift store lover who loves roller skating, oh yeah she also plays in the amazing bands @thewildreeds. Follow along this week as we talk about life, music and spiritual growth.
What is Paradise?
It’s a thrift store of course! Oh and also here’s to hoping it’s some sort of karmic nirvana that we all get to achieve after one life or another.
Why is music important?
I wish I could truly understand why music is as important as it is. All I know is I’ve dedicated the better portion of my life to chasing the feeling that is provides both as a listener and an artist. It’s the spice cabinet to our lives. It always has been and always will be a language we can use when words don’t suffice.
How did you find the courage to sing?
I had sung my whole life at school and in my room, but never considered myself a singer and never really had a knack for it. It wasn’t until I wanted to write my own songs that I had to present my voice as an instrument and I was terrified. My friend Rosey convinced me that rawness and shakiness was not a flaw but rather a humbling human quality that I shouldn’t be ashamed of. I owe a lot of my courage to her. My band mates as well, taught me how to sing 3 part harmony and how to grow into my voice, they’ve always encouraged me when I’ve doubted my voice. I still don’t identify as a singer, it’s more-so something that’s necessary in the process of doing what I love.
What’s the most anxiety-inducing thing you do on a regular basis?
Sit down to write music. No joke I have to force myself and it’s like locking myself in the lion's den except I am also the lion. I battle a severe amount of resistance and self-doubt and it rears its ugly head the minute I start to write. Of course, there’s the occasional song that lands on you like a dove but that’s far less interesting.
What about the opposite sex confuses you the most?
Whether I can trust their motives. I’m referring to straight men here. It’s a shame because as women we were always taught that men are “so different” and all they care about is sex, so we grow up presenting ourselves in a way that caters to that notion, or assume that threat is constantly there. It’s been a beautiful journey unlearning the social constructs that come along with gender. I’m working on the ways in which I still subconsciously subscribe to them and recognize the ways in which even my most empathetic straight male friends subscribe to them as well. I’ve had the pleasure of some really great relationships that have defied those stereotypes. In the end, I think our only real differences are the ones they’ve taught us to have. I’m also confused by the fact that my BO is way worse than my boyfriend’s.
What life skills are rarely taught but extremely useful?
Sewing, listening to others, stain removal, kissing, cutting hair, jump-starting a car, dream interpretation, self-defense, healthy coping mechanisms.
What’s the worst thing you’ve eaten out of politeness?
Turtle. That’s gotta be illegal.
What’s about to get much better?
Hopefully the state of our country, and climate change, if we keep fighting for it.
What scientific discovery would change the course of humanity overnight if it was discovered?
Proof of a spiritual realm. If we had knowledge of reincarnation, or the health of our own souls, or if we had the ability to see how our actions have a ripple effect far beyond what’s visible, I think we would live much more responsibly and empathetically while we are here. Maybe we would take better care of ourselves if we knew for sure that our souls would be used again whether it be in nature or another person. I’m a huge fan of Rudolf Steiner who was a spiritual scientist. He melded the two seemingly opposite worlds into one, in a way that makes so much sense to me.
How do you keep yourself psychologically healthy?
My psychological health has always been something I’m aware of because I’m very sensitive. I am, for the first time, on anti-depressants and after years of stigmatizing it, I decided to try it and I’m so glad I did. It has truly helped me feel joyful and hopeful for the time being. Everyone’s path is their own, and I think you need to figure out what’s right for you. I do also take many natural supplements for my brain chemistry. I listen to things that calm me down, like Eckhart Tolle, or use the insight timer app (yes yes, I’m sure you rolled your eyes, but I was against meditation apps until I tried this one) if I’m really in a tizzy. Writing in my journal is a good place to organize my brain. Praying is a daily part of my life. Talking to my mom on the phone is a huge one for me. And the last one, which isn’t only my happy place but also a guilty pleasure, is digging through clothes at the goodwill bins. I liken it to fishing. If I’m having a hard day I know that will take my mind off of things.
Mantra of the moment?
“Keep the car running.” I’ve been hearing that phrase, probably subconsciously from that Arcade Fire song, and I feel like it’s a metaphorical way of reminding myself to just keep creating even if I don’t have an end goal or even a target to aim my projects toward. I get easily discouraged when I can only see 10 ft in front of me (in life that is), so my mind has somehow chosen that phrase as a reminder.
Favorite quote?
“Ain’t it funny how an old broken bottle, looks just like a diamond ring.” -John Prine
What is the best advice you have ever received?
“Take the best, fuck the rest.” A friend of mine always says that. It sounds harsh but it’s really just a way of looking at the glass half full, and reminding yourself not to dwell on others' perceptions of you.
How do you make yourself sleep when you can’t seem to get to sleep?
I’ve taken things to sleep in the past, mostly all-natural like CBD or melatonin. But when my mind is racing I try to get into a dreamlike state, the way I would as a child the day before the first day of school or Disneyland. I let my mind wander to positive places, though I have to keep redirecting it when it goes off course. Breathing exercises help as well.
What habit do you have now that you wish you started much earlier?
Taking vitamin C. Dog watching. Going commando.
What are things that bring you joy in the world?
Toddlers. Lattes. Coincidences. Antiques. Good songs. Playing shows. True crime docs. Vitamins. My boyfriend's chest hair. History. Glitter. Roller skating. Anthroposophy. Sleep. Los Angeles. Old pickup trucks. Camaraderie.
Is love all we need?
I think love is most of what we need. But I do know that salty people have the best advice for a reason. It’s our pain that elevates us (or stunts us depending on what we do with it). I’m not saying hardships are a good thing, but I do think they’re the closest thing to spiritual push-ups.
At karaoke what song do you pick?
If It Makes You Happy by Sheryl Crow. Or Complicated by Avril Lavigne.
